Friday, April 01, 2005

My milkshake brings all the bugs to the yard...

I don't hate all bugs. And I don't spaz and make high pitched yipping noises every time a bug comes near me (unlike some members of my family). It's mostly the flying ones that make me revert to my more primitive nature as I go into fight or flight mode (heavy on the 'flight').

I think it stems from a very traumatic event of my childhood, way back when I was in either the first or second grade. It was around that time because I remember what house it happened in. Or, to be more exact, what hallway it happened in.

A bad dream had woken me up in the middle of the night, a dream so bad I needed a mommy or a daddy to hug me and reassure me that everything was all right. My parents were still awake watching television in the living room so that's where I headed.

I was already a little spooked from the bad dream and walking down the dark hallway didn't help matters. Especially when I saw the bug chilling on the wall just a few steps in front of me. It was a big bug too. Like a cricket or a grasshopper or something.

I froze like some kind of frozen thing and contemplated my options.

A) Go back to my bedroom with the memory of the bad dream still lingering and without the comforting reassurance of a parent that the big scary bad in the dream wasn't real.

B) Walk down the hallway and pray the bug didn't get me.

So great was my need for a hug I chose option B. Must have been a really scary dream. I started to creep very slowly, very quietly, down the hallway, my eyes focused on the bug the whole time. I held my breath and took another step. And another until I was directly across from it. Then BOING! The cricket/grasshopper jumped off the wall, flew through the air, and landed on my chest.

Freaked me the hell out, let me tell ya! I ran screaming down the hall and into the living room, probably freaking my parents out in the processes. When I told them a grasshopper attacked me I remember they didn't seem as concerned as they should have been. I mean, we had attacking grasshoppers in the house!!! That's the time to worry my friends!

So yeah, I think it forever traumatized me.

Why the bugs like to fly at me and land on me and all around scare the bejeebers out of me I have no idea. I guess its just my sweet disposition. That, and my milkshake.

my milkshake brings all the bugs to the yard, and they're like, its better than yours, damn right its better than yours...

See that? See those cute little musical notes? I've got cute little icons to play with! I downloaded them from the angelic network the other day. Too bad there wasn't an attacking grasshopper or attacking mosquito to download. I could have so used those today! :)

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