Would you rather...


1. be constantly sweating on the back of your knees OR always think you have bad breath?

I hate sweating. I especially hate sweating in awkward places. Like the back of the knees... the spot between the boobage that's only reachable after a quick Hand Down Front Of Blouse maneuver... the line for the bathroom at a club on Bring Back Disco night... etc etc etc. So I'd rather always think I had bad breath. Thinking it isn't as bad as having it. Or dealing with constantly sweaty knees. Plus, I'm experienced with self conscious paranoia so what's one more neurosis added to the list.

Now, I use the word 'experienced' like I use it on my resume where it says I'm experienced with software programs I've heard of but never used. Translation = not so much but hey it sounds good. So its more like I have a passing familiarity with self conscious paranoia. Yeah, that sounds better. Right? Makes me sounds better. And not as crazy. Right? Right?!?

2. come home and somebody painted all your walls bright red OR somebody replaced all your floors with astroturf?

Bright red walls! I wouldn't mind the red walls, but would mind the Astroturf terribly. I walk around barefoot all the time and would much rather walk on carpet than Astroturf.

3. win a new car OR win a two week, all expenses paid, vacation to anywhere in the world?

After the discussion last night with the HB about cars, about what color is better than another color, and after feeling the need to defended myself over the ownership of my granny smurf mobile (which is so not the a car I would pick out if I had any money) I'm tempted to say I'd rather win a new car. Because any car given away as a prize has got to be better than my car.

But I'm feeling too practical today. I have a car and it works fine. What I don't have is an all expenses paid vacation to anywhere in the world.

*sigh*

Now where can I win me one of those?

4. have a tapeworm OR lice?

Ew. I'd rather have which ever option is easiest to get rid of.