Monday, April 11, 2005

Only you can prevent computer brain suckage!

The following quiz is brought to you by the last remaining brain cell that hasn't mutinied on me yet* and the faceless gold fish crackers that are keeping me company. Until, that is, I chomp their little faces down to swallow-able pieces. Mmm... fishy crackers!

* I've been playing catch up due to Friday's disaster and I seriously think the computer is trying to suck my brain dry. Little punk ass beyotch!

See what amusement park ride you are.

I do like water. And naturey things... other than bugs. And wild human-eating beasts. And possessed logs that try and drown me.

That actually happened once. The possessed log thing. No joke. Because the only other explanation is that I'm an uncoordinated klutz and... well... what a crummy excuse that is. Klutz smlutz! It was the log dammit!

I was... a preteen I think. Let's say about ten years old. And the family and I were camping up in the mountains at Big Sur. Beautiful place with beautiful green trees (except for the one that tried to drown me).

Beautiful deers peeing just a few feet from your campsite...

That's one of my favorite camp memories. We were standing just outside our little camper when my dad spots a deer several feet up the hill. We oohed and ahhed quietly, marveling at the closeness of the animal. My dad grabbed his binoculars, packed especially for such an occasion, and gave a quick peek at the deer. "It's eating," he whispered as he handed me the binoculars. "Eating?" I gasped and quickly took a peek. The deer was munching on the leaves! Right in front of us! Looking through the binoculars, it was like we were standing mere inches away. It was spectacular. "My turn, my turn," my little brother whined until I handed him the binoculars. "Woah," he said. After a bit my mom said, "Okay, my turn." "Woah," my brother said and kept staring at the little deer. My mom waited patiently, letting her child enjoy the nature spectacle some more, then said, "Oh all right, hand them over." He did, reluctantly. She lifted the binoculars to her eyes, pointed them up towards the deer and, with amusing disbelief in her voice, said, "It's peeing! It didn't pee for you guys!" My brother and I laughed and laughed and laughed at that. We got to see it eat and mom got to see it pee! Ha! Okay, so maybe that's not as amusing as I remember it being.

Anywhoo... where was I? Oh yeah. Beautiful camp site. Beautiful animals. Beautiful park rangers... let me take another little story deviation and say that the park ranger was so dreamy. Rugged. Manly. Hunky. All of the above. And he gave me a ranger scout button. But I didn't need the button. He had me at hello. :) There were junior ranger programs kids could attend, and you earned buttons and stuff. The only thing I remember from those little nature lessons was the bit about recycling and about how important it was. And when Cute Park Ranger Guy said it was important to recycle in order to save the forest and the animals and the entire planet I listened. And became quite the little anti-litter bug. Heh. Sucker for a pretty face? Who me? Pfftt!

Okay, so on to what started this camping trip down memory lane. The evil log!

My dad loves to take long walks. He wanted to go on a little hike to go see something, some rock thingy or what not. I don't quite remember. My mom opted to stay at the campsite while me and my brother tagged along with dad. It was fun, and very much like going on a little mini adventure. We had to cross a small stream, and did so courtesy of the big tree trunk log-of-a makeshift bridge. I was kind of scared as I crossed it. I mean, it wasn't flat and expansive as a real bridge would have been. It practically screamed, 'Danger! Uncoordinated people beware!' But I didn't pay any attention, and walked crawled across it on my hands and knees. I thought this was an excellent plan, as more contact with the log obviously means less chance of falling over.

It worked and I crossed the log safely and followed my dad and brother as we hiked to who knows where. We climbed up and over huge rock formations, got to our final destination (which must not have been that interesting to look at since I can't remember what it was. A waterfall? A view of Something Miles Down Below Us?). We oohed and ahhed at the Whatever for a few minutes, then made our way back to camp.

When we got to the log bridge I was again apprehensive. The stream below wasn't a rapidly rushing river, so that wasn't the scary part. And I was pretty confident in my swimming skills, since I was on a swim team and all, so I wasn't afraid of the water. I was just afraid of, well... falling I guess. I can't quite remember what bothered me about it. But I do remember that I wasn't going to crawl across it like a little scaredy cat this time. I felt foolish, yet confidently safe as I crawled across it the first time. But my dad and brother made it look so easy, just walking across it like there was nothing to it. I wasn't so confident in my balancing skills, but my brother was younger than me, so if he could do I could do it. I was apprehensive, but I knew I could do it. So I did it.

And fell off when I was two thirds of the way across.

Fell right into the water and bawled like a baby. I was so embarrassed. I remember apologizing to my mom for getting wet. She laughed, not cruelly but in a sort of 'oh poor baby' sort of way and told me not to be silly. Easier said than done, mom. But thanks anyway.


Stupid evil log!

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