Oh ye mighty Office Gods / please hear my plea / find my boss a different desk / that's far away from me!

My boss just set up shop at the desk behind me. In this little four square cubicle island, I'm in the upper left square. He's now sitting behind me in the bottom left square. What the fuck? How am I supposed to get any work done now?!

I mean really! I think the Office Gods are conspiring against me today. Meddling bastards.

He's at the desk behind me, which means my back is to him. And I hate that. I hate not knowing what's going on behind me, who's sneaking up on me, who's standing over my shoulder watching everything that I do. In school, I never sat in the front of the class, where all the 'look at me I'm smart and want to learn' kids sat, even though I was sort of smart and really wanted to learn. I liked sitting in the back so I could observe everyone, see everything that happened. And so I could listen and learn and not be distracted with worry over whether or not my underwear was creeping up the back to say hello, as underwear are want to do.

Now, I'm not crazy paranoid about this or anything. Really I'm not. It's just a comfort issue. I am comfortable when there's no one sitting behind me doing who knows what.

Maybe I was a spy in a previous life, always looking over my shoulder for the bad guys. And maybe I was attacked and killed from behind. That's why I'm always weary of people doing stuff behind me. Heh.

It may not sound like it, but I can cope with people sitting behind me just fine. It just bugs me, that's all. And it seriously cramps my web surfing style. Like, totally.

And now The Boss is asking me questions! Gah!

Will somebody please get the man a real office!